Refined by Trials

In June of 2013, as a newly postpartum (single) mom of 2, I sat across the couch from the public health nurse as she told me that I was flagged as ‘high-risk’, and that we needed a firm plan in place for how I was going to care for my children. I was co-parenting my son who had just turned three, and was single parenting my newborn who I couldn’t hold onto tightly enough, despite the circumstances of her arrival.

Proverbs 17:3 – “the refining pot is for silver, and the furnace for gold: but the Lord tests the hearts”

Are there groceries in the fridge? How will you know if you reach the point where you can’t do this anymore? Who will you call on for help? How do you think you’re going to be able to care for these children under these circumstances?

Just a few of the questions that she needed to report back on. 

I gave her strong answers, faking it through and through. Don’t question my ability to do this. Don’t look at me this way. I know what you’re thinking about me, but I beg you to realize that you’re wrong. 

As she packed up her things, likely trying to give me some piece of my dignity back on the way out, she said, I don’t know how you’re coping so well. How do you have such a positive attitude through it all?

I know that my story will shine a light of hope to someone who needs it one day. I have the strength to get through it, and I know it won’t be wasted.

Little did I know, He was just getting started. This was our humble beginning, and there were many trials yet to come. I hope that you will follow along as I share the trials between then and now, and the lessons that I want to pass on to anyone who may find themselves low on hope in any particular season.

I’m still in the fire, and I believe that I always will be, because I don’t ever want to stop learning, growing, and being refined. To be out of the fire is to be stagnant. When I look back at the many, MANY trials that have brought me to today, I also see the blessings that those trials have brought. The changes in my own heart have been fierce, and without them, I wouldn’t be equipped for the gifts of today: my faith, my marriage, my relationships with my children, my work, my friendships. The trials have brought grace, patience, understanding, and have softened my heart in unimaginable ways.

James 1:2 – “Consider it a great job, my brothers and sisters, whenever you experience various trials, because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its full effect, so that you may be mature and complete and lacking nothing”.